Perfection
by stargategirl
Summary: Sam thinks over her life and realises that perfection is harder then it seems. New chapter added: Sam takes a trip to Washington. SamJack.
1. Need

I am nothing if not a perfectionist. I have the perfect job, the perfect qualifications, the perfect friends and the perfect house. The only thing missing is the perfect love the one that sweeps you off your feet and lands you straight into having 2.4 children and a big shaggy black dog.

No I don't have this love I have a mixed up crazy love; a hidden untouched love that is left to simmer by itself on a hot plate. My love is nothing but imperfect, we fight, we hurt, and on occasion we even die before we pick it up and carry on. My love is like an ongoing quest to find utopia, always within reach but never quite managing to grab it, something always stands in the way.

He is always there I can feel his breath behind me. He waits, he understands he acknowledges that I need perfection and while I hunt outside of his love to see whether I can find it elsewhere, he is patient he lets it be. I don't find love elsewhere I find misery I know that he is my destiny but I also know that this is bigger than the two of us. I understand that the world, the future of the human race is far more important then us.

Don't pity me; don't try to find fanciful ways out of this ditch, there is only one way and im taking it. First we must defeat the torrent of evil that immediately threatens this world then and only then can we be.


	2. Yoyo

I'm lost; this thought whirs through my head as the hot sweaty cosmopolitan atmosphere of Washington engulfs me. I wonder aimlessly around the streets stopping in small shops and picking up postcards and small souvenirs for the team. I get Mitchell a pocket knife, Vala a pair of shoes (hey it's not a souvenir as such but why not!), Daniel a book on the Washington monuments and the impact of them on modern society, and for Teal'c some fudge and a beanie with the white house on it. As im buying the last of these items from a vendor I see a yoyo with a bright caption out of the corner of my eye, suddenly I don't feel quite so lost any more I pick it up and hand it to the vendor with my other items.

The world is now safe, and though we are still conducting missions and of course encountering problems now and then, the enormity of the threat posed by the Ori has not been matched, and for this I am thankful, finally after 11 years im having a proper full on holiday, not just for a week, no this is a serious month long extravaganza complete with sleep and proper meals! However I don't feel so elated there is edginess to my serenity, there is only one thing left I need to do.

With the yoyo bouncing in my bag I spring up the steps of the homeland security buildings, I hand the security my pass and carry on across the glistening marble hall to the elevators, the peace that I feel can only be complete if he shares in it, the life that I now feel free to live can only be complete with him. I wonder into the elevator unsure of what will happen when I reach my destination.

I miss her, the thought catches me off guard as I gaze through the wide windows of my office, it seems like forever since the end of the Ori and yet she hasn't come to me. God she does know that i… I shake my head, of course she knows everyone knows I think about Hammond and his promise that when the time comes he'll give her away. Grinning I pull open the top draw of my desk and pull out the ring,

I toy with it flipping the lid open and shut letting the simple diamond sparkle in the light. Sighing I place it on my desktop and get out of my chair, wincing as a sharp pain from my knee hits me. Suddenly it dawns on me, why wait here for her, why not go to her? I grab my jacket and the ring and dash to the door, "Limington I'll be back next week" I say running past him and ignoring the calls of protest. Hey what true hero would stop and chat before running off to tell the heroine his revelation. I round the corner and push the elevator button cursing the fact that the stairs would take to long.

Then as the elevator doors slide open I go to jump in, not really looking where I am going and bump into her, literally poof, bags go flying and somehow we end up on the floor with me lying on top of her.

"Hi" he says smiling, the current situation not fazing him at all."Hi" I manage to say before succumbing fits of giggles. "hey no laughing" he smiles at me and gets up holding out a hand to me."Thanks" I whisper, he pulls me up and lets my hand go. "so… cake"? the question is so stereotypically him that it fills me with an unbelievable warmth."Always" I say before picking up my bag and handing it to him.

I look at her puzzled, "a present? Wow carter you shouldn't have" I look in the bag and see a yoyo at the bottom, then I see the words on the yoyo and stop grinning, in fact im pretty sure that im looking a bit grim as she then says

"you don't like it"? I look up at her and admire the way the light reflects off her hair and how she nibbles her bottom lip in anticipation of my answer. The gift has touched me more then anything she could ever have said the simplicity of it, the quirkiness just make me realise how lucky I am to have found her.

"Carter" I manage to say my throat all gravely with emotion "I love it". I grab her hand and pull her to me, and slip into a tender and deep kiss.

I don't hear the whoops that echo around the office all I hear, see and feel is him, and as I feel myself and indeed my soul melting into him I let a singular tear slide down my face. We pull away and head into an elevator still looking at each other silently but with a new wonder. He holds me to him as we float downwards, and as we reach the bottom he lets go off me only to grab my hand and walk across the hall. This action makes me smile the tough air force general holding my hand, ha I have him whipped! We glide out the doors and into a cab, he calls out directions to his apartment but I barely hear them, my heart is pounding in my chest and my fingers become sticky in his.

We reach my apartment and I lead her inside. We step in and as she drops her handbag onto a seat. Taking the opportunity I pull her towards me and bend down on one knee wincing in pain. I look up and see her face awash with hope and anxiety, "carter you mean everything to me, you always have and always will, these 11 years have been the best and worse of my life, and though I know you could probably find someone 100 times better there is no one else I would rather be with than you. If this is what the poets call love then yes I love you more than words can describe, everything about you is perfect. Will you marry me"? I open the ring box.

I stare at him and the ring which he holds out to me, and slowly I begin to smile "yes, could you ever doubt it" I take the ring from him as he gets up. The beautiful diamond winks at me, the ring is simple but it reflects our relationship, simple and perfect. We kiss passionately and laugh as tears stream down our faces.

Then much, much later while we lay in bed entangled together with the yoyo on the bed side table with the words I LOVE YOU written in red. I realise something; I have found perfection at last.


End file.
